[Just Nikki.]

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Sun, 07 Sep 2008 09:58:42 -0400

RYAN, YOU MOTHERFUCKER.

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 20:18:38 -0400

fuck.

fuckfuckfuck.

FUCK YOU, MOTHERFUCKER.

i never liked you anyway, fuckhead.

fuck off, please.

fucking motherfucker.

asshole.

dradams: “artists” are nice but i prefer genius artists. you...

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 18:50:18 -0400

dradams:

“artists” are nice but i prefer genius artists.

you know, the real deal. i love strong willed women with actual opinions about art, philosophy, the basic idea’s about why we are here and wtf all this is.

when you take the world to heart, fully, how could one not be mystified?

all the artists i know, and when i say artist i mean, they actually MAKE their work themselves, have idea’s- do the work- they don’t sleep when they can dream out loud. if nothing else, art is sometimes just writing down the questions, the big one’s

and making small idea’s as though they might be little equations that eventually add up to a solution.

but, non artists, who dabble in that world, boy do they ever get crushed like a bug. it’s not for lack of intent. it’s for lack of determination.

punk rock, in essence, saved my life and taught me- ANYBODY can do it, but it takes some balls to fucking do it with heart, with meaning, and fuck em’ if they miss the big idea’s at play.

we are not all in tune with those things all the time, and not always in tune with each other- but THAT is called dialog. sitting in a corner with a box of crayons is called “being a handbag.”

I am not a fucking handbag. I guess I am a jerk because I actually have opinions about the world I live in, explore it fully, and think that courting fame is bullshit. it’s a thing you either have or don’t.

I have found though, that the work, if you mean it, and even if they don’t like or understand it, is the wall.

that is the wall that separates the YOU from the THEM- and by THEM i mean the camera people, the bullshit, the distractions, the doubt………………….

and it is immature sure to say this, but championing grown men trying to kill each other for money, is disgusting. NOT ART. NOT FUCKING MAKING ART. NOT THOUGHTFUL. in fact, it is awful. fucking awful.

i boxed when i was a kid. first thing i learned was, you never have to swing if you step back and let them tire themselves out. And if you must, when you ball your fist, imagine inside it was you. So that you could understand what it meant to be a part of someone else’s pain.

most people don’t take responsibility for causing that kind of pain. they just MOVE ON- move right through to the next contestant- fighting problems with new one’s, hiding loneliness with using others.

that fight is so big it takes an entire planet to fit it in.

how awful to minimize humanity in such violent horrid gestures to only play victim.

love, as i have found, is not grounds always for like. like takes dialog and work.

but you know, i have stared blankly back at shining eyes before and seen heaven inside the forevershine of a woman’s eyes.

still, with only 1 percent of what people throw away, i’d find love in that.

because people are so funny and interesting and so afraid of just being unafraid of expressing themselves.

i was getting there.

i listened to some records i grew up with last night and they reminded me of who i am.

and i don’t have any issues with expressing my opinions. i have nothing to hide. i am exactly what i am and who i want to be.

and i would say, i do the work.

how immature- to keep the wonder of newness in your heart- the same wonder i see in the aged. it is their close proximity to the gates of this kingdom of life that draws their eyes so wide.

they see that the world is not a fake smile and a shopping bag. it is a fire or hearts and souls colliding-

of shadows and light

and

possibility.

draw that. write that. but choose your enemy wisely. no matter what you think, there is only one enemy and it is internal and manifests itself in the championing of watching others shred each other apart.

this is what happens- sometimes it is more fun to watch people punch each other in the face in a ring for money than to hold a hand of a lover- or use it to match the black and white lines of a gift that could ring for a lifetime.

instead. insults, accusations, betrayal……this is bullshit.

i am complete. and that was all that was wrong.

i could actually back my shit up. even in the face of bitter company.

a fake smile is a scream.

a scream is a canyon

i am only an echo

never had any problems with subjective fame associated with modern classic artists. they know, like, big words and stuff. it’s crazy.

but artists produce work.

what that other stuff is called is “drawin’ something” and “shopping” even if it is for songs. trust me. i know. i refused.

if you can actually have a conversation that includes at least three high ranking scrabble points,

i will kindly hand you my hat.

but for now,

it is on my head-

and my mind is on fire.

it feels…….well,

amaaaazzzzzing.

(via scout) This reminded me of the Christmas season, and my...

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 15:37:14 -0400

(via scout)

This reminded me of the Christmas season, and my heart smiled.
I can’t wait to watch Home Alone when there’s two feet of snow piled up outside my house.
:]

Sway - Michael Buble I feel like dancing today. Well, sort of....

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 11:23:31 -0400

Sway - Michael Buble

I feel like dancing today. Well, sort of. Actually, not really at all. I just feel like listening to this song all day. Eh, well…not ALL day. But still. For a few times at least.

(via scout) Ethan Hawke, I loved you as Troy. I want a Troy. Not...

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 11:15:27 -0400

(via scout)

Ethan Hawke, I loved you as Troy. I want a Troy. Not because he was ridiculously dirty and sexy, but because I like complicated guys.

Which, a fact that I am very much aware of, is probably a death wish.

Whatever, I’m going to sleep. …Even though it’s only 9:52. Ugh.Tonight was less...

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 21:53:04 -0400

Whatever, I’m going to sleep.

…Even though it’s only 9:52.

Ugh.
Tonight was less than fun.

Goodbye now.

DANCE PARTIES.

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 21:19:26 -0400

we just had two in my dorm.

hahaha.

well, one in my dorm room

and one in the common area of the suite.

it was AWESOME.

i’m going to sleep SO well tonight.

Always Be - Jimmy Eat World

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 19:59:44 -0400

Always Be - Jimmy Eat World

(via whateverlolawants) <3

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 00:28:12 -0400

(via whateverlolawants)

(via sleepanddream)

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 00:16:21 -0400

(via sleepanddream)

I know a buttload of people have already posted this, but...

Wed, 03 Sep 2008 00:04:48 -0400

I know a buttload of people have already posted this, but whatever.

Every single time, without fail, I wish for you at 11:11. And I feel like my wish carries extra magic or something, because I was born at 11:11, and I just hope and pray with everything inside of my heart and within myself that the wish comes true.
I know that one of these days it will, so I’m just gonna wait it out and continue wishing.
The more wishes out there, the more likely it will come true, right? I mean, it should be like a raffle or something. The more times you enter, the higher the probability is of your number getting called. Right?

Tearin’ Up My Heart - NSync Sums me up nicely today, I...

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 23:21:53 -0400

Tearin’ Up My Heart - NSync

Sums me up nicely today, I think.

i feel as though… my heart is stuck in my throat and it’s now the lump of feelings and...

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 21:58:21 -0400

i feel as though…

my heart is stuck in my throat

and it’s now the lump of feelings and words

that i just can’t spit out.

and i feel as though

i’m a secret to those who claim to love me

like,

i’m not worthy of being known about.

or something.

it just sucks when you feel like the one person you love

is the one person who refuses to love you back

and then you’re just trapped

in a whirlwind of loving someone

and then your heart gets chipped away at

like a sculptor making a statue out of marble

so you wait for the beauty to come from the pain

and it doesn’t.

for a really long time.

right now, i’m still waiting for the beauty to come.

i’m waiting for this feeling of complete

and utter

devastation

to pass.

it’s supposed to hurt less every day, right?

…something must’ve gotten lost in translation,

because my heart

-swear to god-

hurts more and more

with every second of my life

that ticks away.

the things i would give to make this pain subside…

BUT.

a really big part of me doesn’t want it to dissipate

because this feeling

-this overwhelming feeling of nausea, vertigo, and devastation-

is the only thing left

that is connecting

and

him.

so, i guess,

bring on the pain?

but, please make is stop hurting so much.

or something.

because this REALLY hurts.

like, really.

and i don’t like feeling my heart beating in my throat

every second

of every day.

I can not be excited about anything today. It’s irritating. Today blows, you guys. I really...

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 20:40:34 -0400

I can not be excited about anything today. It’s irritating.

Today blows, you guys. I really hate it. Make it go away.

But in other news, it’s Sam’s birthday. So happy birthday to him. I love that kid, he’s awesome. You should love him, too. AND WISH HIM A HAPPY BIRTHDAY OR I’LL BUST YOU IN THE CHOPS.

I don't care how "dangerous" this is.

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 20:08:45 -0400

Nikki Morrison
JSC Box J-0466
337 College Hill
Johnson, VT
05656

MAIL ME STUFF.
seriously.
no mail.
two weeks, no mail.

fix that.

but i SWEAR TO GOD, if i find anthrax,
first, i mean, i’ll die or whatever
and then i’ll come back as a zombie
and come RIGHT FOR YOUR BRAINS.
so please.
keep it nice.

-Bug. xo

(via planettampon) Good God. MY VAGINA IS ON FIRE, RYAN.

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 11:13:40 -0400

(via planettampon)

Good God. MY VAGINA IS ON FIRE, RYAN.

(via planettampon) …O-Face.

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 11:12:46 -0400

(via planettampon)

…O-Face.

the glasses i’m getting in october to replace the stupid...

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 10:14:00 -0400

the glasses i’m getting in october to replace the stupid ones i’ve had for two years.

i’m excited.

Woah man.

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 09:56:14 -0400

my birthday happens to be two months from today.

well, two months from an hour and 16 minutes from now.

[11:11am, man. i’m a baby o’ luck.]